Serious Problem.

I was all set, the music was there, the table was clear, my pencils sharpened. I had ventured down the road bare footed to buy two soda-waters and a packet of freckles. I was ready to create a master piece. Or at the very least something that would one day be the beginings of something close to a master piece. Or even just a few little doodles that would help me get into Tafe.

But then disaster struck.

The only thing I am now capable of drawing.

Is over the top cute doggies.

Three pages of these horribly adorable doggies, all running or begging. Some with the tounges lolling out and others with their tales manically wagging. And one particularly cute rolly dog with a confused look on his face.

This is of course a serious problem, and although I love dogs, I do believe if my life continues down this path I will have no option. . . but to kill myself. 

no subject

So I'm sure two people think I'm a pervert right now after I heard some noises and looked out the window to witness two people...doing stuff. But I'm sure they can forgive me. After all they were very loud. Anyway I'm hung over at the moment and I find the best cure after a night of heavy drinking and having to listen to and witness loud sex, is to go home get some chips and some coke and lie in bed with a few episodes of the simpsons.

I don't know why I'm doing this I'm sure you don't care.

Australian Film.

Yes we all know that Australian film is fairly terrible these days, but I'm gonna take the time to quickly go through a few worthy Australian films. The ones that I've seen I mean. I've heard some good things about the short film Harvey Krumpet and the film Dexter, but I am yet to see them. Anyway, a few good Aussie films.

Mad Max:

Let's start with the obvious. What would be called a 'visually stunning' film. Mad Max is the story of a few cops, with massive V8's, trying to keep control of the roads which are becoming more and more dangerous. Eventually this turns to a revenge story. But not in the same way the Hollywood films do. (i.e. Arnie's family dies in the first 5 minutes and then spends the next 2 hours trying to get revenge.). After a quite family holiday Max's wife pisses off the Toecutter (hard core bikie leader) and eventually gets slaughter. This leads to the original saw like scene in which a man is handcuffed to a car that's about to explode. "It'll take you ten minutes to hack through the chain with this (throws man hack saw) . . . now if your lucky, you'll get through your ankle in five." But between all this happening are some of the best action scenes created and a fucking awesome grandma willing to take on a gang of bikies with a shot gun. Also this was the highest grossing budget to profit ratio (meaning they spent thousands making it and made millions on it) for over 20 years. (It was eventually beaten by the Blair Witch Project crap.)

Let's move on.

Australian Rules:

Based on the book 'Deadly Unna?" Australian rules is escentually (yes I know I can't spell), about young blokes in a country town, dealing with AFL, isolation and Racism.  When a talented Aboriginal AFL player is over looked for his less talented white counter part, all things go to shit in this country town. Expecially when the same night a drunken white man (the father of our protaganist) shoots a black man. Suddenly we have this young man stuck in the middle of two worlds having to choose between a culture and his family.

One Perfect Day:

This is about a young Australian man who, after returning home from being expelled in a top notch Europian music school, finds his little sister is dead and his girlfriend fucking other men (or so he believes). This leads him to trying to come to terms with his sisters death, by delving into the world of Trance music his sister was so involved in. Dealing with classic music, techno, drugs and relationships, this is one of those gut wretching movies. It also has what I think is some good mashing of techno and classical style music.

The Proposition:

Written by Nick Cave, this is a fucking amazing movie. Quick explaination on what the actually proposition is. There are three brothers who are Irish outlaws living out west in late 1800's Australia, and the troopers catch the youngest two. The cops go up to the middle brother and pretty much say "I want you to go and kill your older brother, OR I'm gonna hang you're little brother." Oooooh and so the story begins. 

I'm sure I've done a fucking shit job explaining these movies and there are alot of spelling mistakes but over all I hope I've made a few people remember that occascionally Oz does make some good movies that aren't fucking stupid 'comedies' (you and your stupid mate, take away, crackerjack) or moody dramas (i'm looking at you little fish.)

That's right, Politics.

If there was ever a sure fire way to start  an argument it's with Politics.

Everyone has to admit even though most don't want to that we don't know a fucking thing about them, and I'm positive a lot of people just pretend to know about them, and say words to appear intelligent.

But lets face it about 80% of us don't have a fucking clue. But that doesn't stop everyone from getting into heated arguments over it.

Take my co-worker again, she was talking about Pauline Hanson AGAIN! Yes we all know about the nekkid pictures.

My co-worker: "Why should anyone care. I mean the best part of Pauline Hanson was that she was just an ordinary person like the rest of us. You know just a fish and chip shop owner."

I bite my lip and resisted the urge to blurt out "Hey do you know her shop is owned by Asians now!"

But it went on from there, the election, the liberals, labor.

Then she said " It doesn't really matter they all do nothing."

I just should of kept my mouth shut.

Me: "But since Labors been in they signed the Kyoto Protical something that should've happened years ago, and troops were withdrawn from Iraq."

Now I usually vote Greens anyway and don't really care about other parties but I'm sure these are good things...right?

Anyway her response was : "Yeah but now all THOSE people will be out of control. And they should be putting money into hospitals and schools."

Me: "You don't know what it's like to be Prime Minister! He's prolly busy trying to keep this country going under right now. Besides he's giving everyone money....lots of money."

Her: "Yeah but...."  <----- right here is where I tuned out and walked away.

I realised how pointless my argument was and I also realised that I didn't really care anyway.

So in future I'll just keep my mouth shut and bit my lip and think about joining in my realise I prolly don't really no THAT much about it anyway.

Oh and I know it's old news but I like Kevin Rudd simply for the fact that not only did he go to a stripe club, but tried to make it sound better by going "I didn't mean to go I was so drunk I don't remember." Fucking Gold.

Racism Pt 2

So now I've had my little rant and had time to mull things over a bit it's time for a more serious and more precise look into things.

Mostly racism comes from two points.

The first one is from your parents. Growing up your parents know everything and if they have racist view points there is a good chance you'll pick them up. I know my mother once told me that she was slightly racist mainly because her father (my da) was racist and yeah he's fairly racist. I remember one time he came to our house cause at the time mum was babysitting and, almost had a heart attack. These were the nationalities that were present.

Madeline: PNG

Jarryd: Chinese.

Stephaine: Canadian (exchange student)

Shaun: Islander.

Josh: Aboriginal (friend of my brothers)

Over the years though Da doesn't mind Shaun these days and thinks he is a nice boy.

The other place people pick up racism is from one encounter with some fuckwit who just happens to be from another culture.

Of course the people that cop this the most, in this country anyway, are aboriginals.

I'm sure we've all experianced it. Riding on the train some dickhead causing trouble. 

One time there was this aboriginal lady on the train yelling at everyone. Asians were stupid boat monkeys who were trying to take over the world. And all the white people were trying to bring down black culture. She started yelling at one woman in particular about how she was a stupid white bitch slave driver. This 'white bitch' did nothing but get up and walk away. The aboriginal lady followed her tapped her on the shoulder and then punched her in the face. 

After such a thing happening and various other stories I've seen and heard I was pretty pissed off at that particular culture. 

But really think about it. It's the same as every culture. There are fuckwits and there are nice people. Thinking back there are plenty of nice Aboriginals I've met over the years. The main people are Alan the awesome guy I use to work with at the bakery, and Shaun the little boy I grew up next to who is now 10 almost 11 and while alot of kids his age are unruly, swearing little pains in the arse as far as I know he's awesome.

But this spreads to all cultures. Alot of people think of Asians as people that open convience stores and can't speak English, and yeah there are alot of those out there. But I've also come across quite a few who have the biggest blokiest 'Aussie' accent I've come across. And have prolly been in this country for more generations than some people.

Lets move on to the Middle Eastern society. What we hear alot about them is of course their religion. But for the most part I blame the media. Example is something like:

'Islamic extremist defies Australian culture and demands a change in society.'

is going to sell better than:

'New immagrants embraces Australian culture and exchanges burka for jeans.'

Happy stuff doesn't sell.

Going back to my work college (see part one), she once told me how a friend of her's was staying at her house because her boyfriend bashed her. She then told me:

"But he's from Papua New Guiene it's in his nature."

This is the most disgusting and one sided comment I have ever heard.

Also she said this in front of my other work college who is also from PNG Jen. But Jen is probable the nicest, most outspoken, selfless person I have ever met. 

There are plenty of white assholes out there! And if you look into you'll see that the superiour race is actually the Japanese. Their average IQ is 110. While here in Australia and America and England and other white dominant countries it's between 95 and 100.

So after all that what is the message?

Stop pumping images and thoughts into peoples brains.

I grew up not even noticing that my best friend was fucking phillio  until I was about 14 and noticed how much darker her appearance was compared to my pastiness. 

Thats the way it should be.

And I'm sure alot of people would lead less protests if their parents and the media didn't feed into the minds the injustises that were done to their forebearers.

Everyone should just shut the fuck up. Because as Muse say;

Together we're invincible.

Okay I think I'm done now. Damn that was long.

Racisim

So as you all may of heard Pauline Hansen is ONCE AGAIN in the news. My work college, a cranky old woman who blames all the worlds problems on drugs, alcohol and Asians, is a big fan. An argument then erupted when I called Pauline a bitter, xenophobic, racist who wanted to continue Edmund Barton's 'Whites only policy'.

Apparently this makes Australia a better place. HOW? So we can all be the Southern states of America?

But just then I contradicted myself because that was a racist remark towards Americans. So while I'm on it I'd like to get a few things off my chest.

I don't care what country your from just please learn English, of course I'm gonna get angry when I ask for Peter Stuyvesent 6 times and I keep being given Peter Jackson. *Nod and smile*

Aboriginals, your not going to get your way by marching down the street and holding up traffic. Nor am I going to apologise for something that happened to your parents that I was not involve in, neither were my parents or grandparents or ANY relation of mine.

Also stop drinking rum and yelling on the train it's fucking annoying.

(There is another problem the Aboriginal debate but that'll be another post.)

STOP FORCING YOUR COUNTRIES RELIGION ON EVERYONE!

You have a religion thats great. But stop telling everyone else that they're gonna die for not believeing in it.

And no a woman does NOT deserve to be raped just cause she was wearing revealing clothing and therefore 'asking for it'. Jeez.

So after all that which side of the fence am I on? Can someone tell me cause I really don't fucking know.

The Adventures of Sleep Dep.

TELL CUSTOMERS HOW YOU REALLY FEEL!

Customer 1: How're you today?

Me: Shit actually, how're you?

Customer 2: I've been standing here for 15 minutes!

Me: I've been standing here for 6 hours and there are 20 other people waiting to bee served before you and we have three staff members *smiles*

Customer 3: You look deep in thought?

Me: Actually I was resisting the urge to attack a co-worker.

PLACE THINGS WHERE THEY DON'T BELONG!

Cheese in cake fridge.

Panadol in sink.

Reciept book in microwave.

Lettuce with bread.

REPEATEDLY ACCIDENTLY HIT YOUR BOSS WITH HOT THINGS!

Tongs.

Chip baskets.

Spatulas.

Toasted sandwich.

AND OVER ALL ACT WEIRD IN GENERAL!

ALL YOU NEED TO DO TO GET ALL THESE CRAZY THINGS IN YOUR LIFE IS MISS HOURS OF SLEEP PVER A TWO - THREE DAY PERIOD!

TRY IT TODAY!